Please pray that I don’t go ignoring humans & stayed glued to this device.

Then again, it might be too late anyway …

Me: “Yes Mom?”

Mom: “Still at the office?”

Me: “Yes, in discussion”

Mom: “Just wanted to tell you… you’re not getting a pay raise this year.”

Me: “Whaaa-????”

Mom: “Just saw on TV, Sri Mulyani said no government employee are getting pay raises this year, including the president.”

Me: “Huh?” (while silently saying “mom you called me for this?”)

Mom: “Iya, so that all those negative words about the government officials getting pay raises are not true.” (we’re big Sri Mulyani supporters)

Me: “Okay”

Mom: “Take care ya”

Me: “Yes Mom”

And that was it. Hee hee. Only my mom could pull me away from a discussion with my boss for a conversation like that.

I love you, Mom!

You might have conflicting emotions about what you want to do today. On one hand, you understand that it’s crucial to follow through and deliver what others are expecting from you. On the other hand, you are tired of always being the one who has to ride to the rescue at the last minute and bail out everyone involved. This time you are tempted to just let it all fall apart. Obviously, abandonment isn’t a smart idea. Once again, do your best and then call it a day.

And yesterday:

Although the day may begin slowly, your creativity suddenly comes alive with a burst of energy. You are not inclined toward self-restraint; pushing yourself to the max can be quite exhilarating. Nevertheless, there’s a price to pay for putting out too much of yourself all at once. Set a steady pace or you will be exhausted before you finish what you started.

These are one of those times where my horoscope isn’t that far off

Since jumping on the social networking bandwagon and joined by a gaggle of young(er) cousins, you can’t help but feel, oh, I don’t know, old? :::Smile:::

Case: Just yesterday one of said young(er) cousins announced that her mobile was broken beyond repair and she was looking for advice for a replacement. I of course, replied the “responsible” way : “What’s your budget?”

She said (in a typical teenager way) “Dunno. Dad just said to get a replacement.”

Now at this point I was beginning to wonder. Back when I was her age, my Dad would never just offer, but he would set the limit if I asked for a new whatever. Of course, back in the 80s, no one in Jakarta had even heard of mobile phones

OK, so today I read her status “I was offered to choose (popular trendy fruitphone models) but I chose a (less trendy smartphone made by Scandinavian geeks). So proud!” (names have been changed to protect the innocent).

:::self-pity mode on::: Hey, why is it nobody is buying me anything? My young cousin was just an example. I can go on about my married friends who often say “Wah, I don’t know, I just got this from my hubby” or “well a present from hubby”.

And then I look around to see who can get me the new 5th generation IPod Touch for my birthday and realize, waaah, no one’s getting it for me … And that, my friends, to be honest, it just… sucks, because sometimes, you just want that present from that special someone where there is no budget limit… sigh.

Arrrgh! Enough wallowing!

:::self pity mode off! This is why:

The same cousin mused “I wonder if I can go to (popular destination in SE Asia) to see (some band I can’t remember)” and when I offered “cheap ways” to get to said destination, she said “no too expensive for me. Can’t save that much”

And in a moment of being selfish and totally immature, I thought “Hah! I win! I actually can BUY a ticket to any tourist destination (as long as it’s economy, haha) and see whatever I want because: I have money, and I don’t have to ask permission anymore, hahahaha!”

Hey, life doesn’t seem so sucky now

Created by Oatmeal

Created by Oatmeal

orange kitty

Ever had a toy that you loved and cherished forever (or so it seems)? For me it was a chimp called Jocko. Around 30something years ago, my Dad brought Jocko home from Germany. Dad explained that Jocko was special because he had a “knopf im ohr”. He was made by a famous toy company named Steiff. Steiff made high quality soft toys, all in Germany (no “made in China” for them!). Obviously, more expensive than other soft toys. Their trademark was the “knopf im ohr” or the “button in the ear”. Expensive? Obviously. My Dad must have skipped some meals in Germany to get me Jocko (I LOVE YOU DAD). Jocko became my best friend, sleeping next to me on my bed. I loved soft toys as a kid (and an adult, too!).

Years passed and since I moved around a lot in the 90s, Jocko got lost somewhere in the jungle that was my soft toy collection. I had tons (or at least a few boxes) of cuddy soft toys.

However, I always remembered Jocko because of the “knopf im ohr”. When I got the chance to visit Germany, I realized how precious and expensive Steiff toys are, which made me love my Dad even more. Then one day last week, I saw the orange kitty in the store, and I fell in love all over again with Steiff. The 50% discount helped also .

Anyway, this is dedicated to my Dad, and to the kid in all of us… everybody needs at least ONE cuddly soft toy in their lives!

the famous "knopf im ohr"

Lecturer, discussing cell membranes: “So now the membrane has potential… unlike my career.”

Physiology Lecture
Melbourne University
Australia

Overheard by: martinasnape
via Overheard in the Office, Sep 11, 2009

I’m still laughing…

:::cough, cough:::

Phew… I’m back.

Well, no promises except for the oft repeated early new year’s resolution “I shall update this blog more often”.

Anywaaay… the musings in my head have been swirling around causing a slight headache. It’s good, though, that means I still have the desire to write.

Topic? The art of conversation.

In an era where people mostly do their communication through email, Yahoo Messenger, Google Talk, texting, and more recently, the addictive Blackberry, having a normal, face-to-face conversation seems so… what, dated?

I mean, sure the hangout places in Jakarta abound, but I noticed more and more people who hang out at places like Citos or Fx crowd around a laptop or hold their phones in their hands. Their talking is most likely to be interrupted by the ping of an text message, or someone buzzing them on messenger.

Which brings me to the question, have we lost the art of conversation? A friend recently confessed to me “I don’t have anything to talk about”.

What’s that? Say again? So, said friend was recently in a situation where she had to entertain a group of people which included someone very close to her. What happened was, during the entire time they were together, there was a lot ‘dead air’ between her and the other person. There were prolonged gaps in the conversation which could not filled. In short she felt like the most uncool, “kurang gaul” person on the face of the earth. Well maybe not the face of the earth (to my friend, if you’re reading, please don’t feel exposed).

Well, this friend is an extreme case. At the other extreme, I have chatterbox friends who can’t seem to stop talking even when I don’t feel like talking to them.

I have been blessed with the gift of having little fear of public speaking. In Indonesia, I’m probably one of those thick-skinned “kulit badak” people who don’t care when they have to stand up in front and blabber about a topic for a period of time (after all, I have to do that with students. Although teacher blabber is now frowned upon since we want the students to be more active, but that’s for another post).

For me, I just try to pluck a topic from things lodged in my brain due to excessive reading.  I read almost anything on print, from Alan Greenspan’s biography to supermarket tabloids (they’re like a car accident, you can’t help but stop and watch). I consider myself like a sponge, absorbing anything from the current economic crisis (I look at my Citbank account and wonder what’s going to happen with what’s little I that have), to microbiology (still in awe of those little creatures we call “bugs”) to TV shows (I can talk for hours about Friends, 24), to the weather, to intl celebrities (George Clooney! Brad Pitt! David Duchovny!). I have to admit, Indonesian celebrities just make me scratch my head with their “I want my privacy” crap. They complain, but when the cameras are off, they do something just for the sake on being on camera again. Sheesh, talk about staying past your 15 minutes of fame.

My point is, when trying to maintain conversations, you need to have a handful of topics on hand. When it’s with somebody you know and care about, it should be easier, since you know the person.

What about if you just met the person? You need what’s called icebreakers. Here’s an amusing example I had with someone, during introductions:

Mr. A, reading my namecard: “So…Sitaresmi?”

Me: “Call me Sita”

Mr. A: “Oooh, like the….loyal wife of Rama?”

Me (in a  fake annoyed tone): “Yessss, the loyal wife of Rama, who set herself on fire when Rama doubted her loyalty…”

B and C (who were listening): “she set herself on fire?????”

And then we went on talking about the legend of Ramayana for about a few minutes, including Mr. A’s story about a current interpretation of Ramayana in which Sita didn’t feel kidnapped by Rahwana, but actually showed interest in Rahwana

Anyway, the above example just shows that it’s important to have topics like culture on hand. I mean, who knew that my name could be an ice breaker???

But, to be fair, the characteristics of a person also determine how the conversation will go. Again, I feel so blessed to have met people from different parts of the world. The way you talk to a Japanese person is different from talking to a German or American. Then there are Indonesians, who still sometimes confuse me eventhough I’m Indonesian myself .

So here are my general rules for maintaining the art of conversation:

1. Establish eye contact.

2. Always try to speak clearly with measured tones. Don’t be too loud or too soft.

3. Here are some good icebreakers: the weather (especially useful in 4 season countries), the traffic (useful in SE Asia), local food and culture (can be applied anywhere).

4. I usually stay away from topics like politics (but the American election this year has been enlightening), the economy (unless it deals with shopping ), sex (fun topic for some Indonesian men, unfortunately, yuck).

5. Be a good listener. This way, you can pick up topics from your conversation partner!

Of course, there is always an “X factor”. With some people, there’s immediate chemistry & you can talk and talk until Starbucks closes, while other people you just think “Ohmigod, I wanna go home” after 5 minutes. Unfortunately, you can’t predict that upfront.

For some, like my friend, having conversations  will take more “practice”, need more interactions with people. But I am sure that there is a hidden chatterbox in all of us somewhere.

This post is dedicated to my long time friend who I have known for 30 years. Do not despair or beat up yourself, just be you and let go!