I’ve been meaning to talk about this for awhile, but couldn’t find the moment to sit down and write. After a series of playful posts, and the momentum of Idul Fitri, I think it’s time to write about something a bit serious.
In my relatively short life (relative being the key word), I’ve already lost a good friend and came close to losing another friend last year. Believe you me, both experiences made me stop and think about that line between living and… well, not living.
It’s such a thin and indistinct line. When my friend died 6 years ago, it was so sudden, I found out about it two days after she died (and was already buried). To say it was a shock was putting it mildly . I took the task of informing other friends and all calls had prolonged silences. We were all speechless. She was a classmate and when your class only consists of 13 students, losing one means a lot.
Then a year ago, another friend went into the hospital for surgery and almost did not make it out of hospital. Not sure what happened post-op, but it appeared she got an infection and went into a coma. She was pregnant at time, and her baby didn’t survive. Doctors were already pessimistic, giving the ‘we’ve done all that we can’ speech and told those who were there (but oddly not the family) to just pray for the best. Well guess what, the power of prayer proved the doctors wrong. Call it what you want: hand of God, takdir, divine intervention, but Subhanallah, she slowly came out of the coma and recovered, completely. Today she’s up and about, working normally, not showing any signs that she wasthisclose to death last year. You can read more about her experience here.
This brings me to my point of the post. When someone close to you dies, and you no longer can communicate with them, you are often filled with regret. I felt that six years ago. Even though we already were living different lives, but I regretted not talking to her more often. All I needed to do was pick up the phone and I didn’t do it. Then she died and when I realize I couldn’t call her again, it left a hole in my heart.
Last year, that almost happened. During the dark days of waiting in front of the ICU, between praying and texting friends, seeking comfort, I felt a deep sense of regret of not meeting her before she went into the hospital. We usually meet up for coffee and gossip every one-two months, and we were scheduled to meet before she went into the hospital but couldn’t match schedules. So when I found out she was in the ICU, one of the things that came to my mind was “why didn’t we get together before this? What if I don’t see her again?” You know, the usual cliches…
So friends, readers, if you don’t want to regret it, tell your closest and dearest to you how much they mean to you. If you can’t verbalize (I sometimes have trouble), then show them in your own unique way. Do it now, don’t delay, because you never know when the time comes for us to be separated by the inevitable.
You just never know.